The Stick Snippets
by Liv of life
Summary: The Order members aren't insane. They're not. Hell no, nothing odd happens here. No siree.
1. Play Pogo!

A lycanthropic chap was practising his bouncing skills up and down a flight of stairs: Pogo sticks, decided one Remus J. Lupin were seriously underrated.

As a nearly middle aged werewolf whooped and went crashing past on a lurid bright pink Pogo stick Severus Snape decided that dark creatures were dickheads.

As her children's ex-professor careered through the kitchen and disturbed her cooking vibes Molly Weasley reflected that a Pogo stick could make even the most respectable gentleman into complete scoundrels.

As his past student hurrahed and played dodgems around him on a Pogo Stick Albus Dumbledore wondered where he could get one.

As his godfather-by-default boinged around his bed squawking like a parrot Harry Potter began to reconsider Privet Drive.

As Remus J Lupin went past on her Pogo stick, Nymphadora Tonks wondered what the hell the J. stood for.

**_Until the next instalment of the Stick Snippets!_**


	2. Things that make you go mmmm

Kingsley Shacklebolt was sooooo hungry.

Grrrragh ack bluirk! - That was his stomach.

But what to eat?

"Lime jam Kingsley?" he tried not to recoil in horror from Molly Weasley's overenthusiastic jar waving and simply made a large lunge, cleverly disguised as a sidestep to the right, he almost fell over Nympahdora Tonks who had knocked herself unconscious… yet again.

Politely ignoring Sirius Black's mad eyebrow waggling, he went to the pantry to discover Kreacher excavating underneath the empty biscuit tin.

"Kreacher is not liking Weasel's jam, no he is not, must escape."

Kingsley inspected how far he had gotten and surmised it was too small a hole for him to escape through… damn.

Grrrragh ack bluirk! – That was his stomach again.

Hmmm, hungry.

He looked around the pantry and found a large amount of lime jam. Who the hell ate lime jam anyway?

He heard Molly Weasley sniffle "Why isn't anyone eating my lime jam?"

Remus Lupin suddenly appeared next to him, looking into the pantry with easily read disappointment

"No chocolate."

"There's lime jam."

Lupin looked at him incredulously and chewed very deliberately on something to display how unimpressed he was.

"Yes! Try some of my lime jam Remus!"

Kingsley frowned,

"What are you chewing?"

"Paddle-pop stick." Lupin pulled it out of his mouth so it was more easily inspected

"Can I have one?"

"Sure."

Kingsley began to chew on his new paddle-pop stick, it was surprisingly satisfying.

"Where did you get them?"

There was a sudden outraged cry from above, unmistakeably Severus Snape's

"Who stole my paddle-pop sticks!"

**_Until the next instalment of the Stick Snippets!_**

_And I must say- I was amazed at the seeming popularity of the first chapter! Thankyou to those of you reviewed- you surprised the hell out of me!_


	3. Is that what I think it is?

Severus Snape needed to shave- he hated shaving.

Emmeline Vance avoided Severus Snape- he was a grumpy arse.

Arthur Weasley inspected Severus Snape's hair- it reminded him of that stuff in muggle batteries.

Remus Lupin was forcibly evicted from the bathroom- Severus Snape was a mean bum.

Sirius Black scowled at the closed bathroom door- he hated Severus Snape.

Severus Snape glowered at the mirror- "Who put sticky crap on the mirror!"

Albus Dumbledore made an expedient escape.

**_Until the next instalment of the Stick Snippets!_**

_A suitably horrifyingly amazing fact for you all: proportionately this fic is my most popular! OMG! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Thanks for reviewing though (: _

_Another thing- ff.n won't let me put a question mark and exclamation mark together so it can only be a question or an exclamation instead of an exclaimed question! PAIN IN THE BUTT!_


	4. Here we sit

Sirius Black was craving Dim Sum.

Molly Weasley was craving noodles.

Remus Lupin was craving Yum Cha.

Mundungus Fletcher was craving fried things.

Nymphadora Tonks was craving Chinese.

It was there on the table and yet they craved and looked and craved.

Dedalus Diggle sniffed,

"How do you use chopsticks?"

**_Until the next instalment of the Stick Snippets!_**

_Bodge I know- I hope it still provided some amount of entertainment _


	5. Pull my finger!

Sirius bounded into the kitchen

"Molly! Listen to my joke!"

"No."

Sirius ran out of the kitchen and into the hall.

"Kreacher! Listen to my joke"

"Nasty Master, go away."

Sirius ran up the stairs into a bedroom

"Severus! Listen to my joke!"

"Piss off or die."

Sirius tore into the library

"Moony! Listen to my joke!"

"Shoot."

Sirius started to run away… hang on…

"Alright! A stick is brown and sticky!"

"What? With sap?"

"Huh? Oh damn, wrong way. What's brown and sticky?"

"Uhm…."

"A STICK! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!"

Remus ran away.


	6. Yeeha go donkey go!

Harry was happy.

No-one else was.

Someone had given Harry the latest Mega-Blast water pistol.

"Grrr Argh! I be a cowboy! Stick 'em up!"

Albus Dumbledore tried to drink the water Harry so generously shot at him.

"Grrr Argh! I be a cowboy! Stick 'em up!"

Sirius Black hid from his Godson behind a man-eating sofa which was promptly soaked.

"Grrr Argh! I be a cowboy! Stick 'em up!"

Nymphadora Tonks slipped in a puddle and knocked herself unconscious… again.

"Grrr Argh! I be a cowboy! Stick 'em up!"

Remus Lupin got confused and looked for clouds.

"Grrr Argh! I be a cowboy! Stick 'em up!"

Severus Snape shrieked and tried to melt- it didn't work and Harry was so disappointed that he changed to water-bombs.


	7. Oedipus let down your hair!

"Harry, have you seen my super-"

"Harry, have you seen my super-"

"duper water-"

"bombs! Yeah! They-"

"Are in the bathroom-"

"where I left them this-"

"morning. You'd better-"

"Thank you-"

"profusely and-"

"rescue them from Kreacher! You're-"

"welcome."

Remus Lupin blinked a few times as Sirius rushed from the room

"My brain! What was that??"

Minerva McGonagall patted him on the head

"It's called stichomythia Lupin. The Greeks invented it."

"Harry and Sirius are-"

"Greek? No."

"Ah! You're Greek too!"


End file.
